


Get A Load Of My Yogurt

by decadent_mousse



Category: Pacific Rim (2013)
Genre: Attempted Seduction, Awkward Flirting, Bad Flirting, Food, Humor, M/M, yogurt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-09
Updated: 2015-09-09
Packaged: 2018-04-19 20:31:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4760012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/decadent_mousse/pseuds/decadent_mousse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hermann just wants to get his work done, but Newt is hellbent on distracting him... with yogurt?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Get A Load Of My Yogurt

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ClassyFangirl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ClassyFangirl/gifts).



> I am not even going to begin to try to explain the conversation that led to this fic being written, but this is at least 85% [ClassyFangirl's](http://archiveofourown.org/users/ClassyFangirl/pseuds/ClassyFangirl) fault. AT LEAST.
> 
> Unbeta'd. Should be free of typos, but feel free to let me know if there are any that sneaked by me!

"Hey, Hermann, want some yogurt?"

Hermann didn't look up from his computer.  "No, thank you, I have to get this bit of Jaeger code improvements done tonight."

"Hermann, it's morning.  It's," there was a pause -- Newton glancing at the nearest clock, probably, "four am.  The night's _long_ gone, dude.  You could stop for five minutes to eat something."

Newton put strange emphasis on the words "eat something," almost in a sing-song-y voice, but Hermann dismissed it as exhaustion playing tricks on his mind.  

It was true that it was late -- or rather, early -- and Hermann had been working for long enough that he’d long since lost track of the last time he’d eaten, but he was almost done with what he was doing.  He just needed a bit more time.

"I'll eat something after I'm done here, I promise you."

There was a loud sigh.

"But this yogurt is _really_ good," Newt groaned.

"I'm sure it is."

There were a couple minutes of silence, punctuated only by Hermann's typing.  Then there were footsteps, and Newt's shadow fell over him as the other man wiggled his butt onto the edge of Hermann's desk.

"Hi."

"Newton," Hermann replied, "I'm trying to work."

"Am I distracting you?  I'm sorry."  

He didn't sound terribly apologetic, and when Hermann sighed and finally looked up from his computer screen, Newton was grinning at him.

"Happy now?"

Newt shrugged, looking entirely too pleased with himself for managing to catch his eye.

"Need I remind you of the importance of my work?"

"So keep working," Newton said.  "Don't mind me.  I'll just sit here and eat this vanilla yogurt.  All by myself."  He sighed.  “I _guess_.”

He pulled the spoon out of the container and slowly stuck a spoonful of yogurt into his mouth, eyes squeezed shut, making a noise that sounded a bit like he was dying.

Hermann raised an eyebrow.

Newton's eyes cracked open and, while staring at him through his eyelashes, pulled the spoon back out of his mouth just as slowly.

Hermann watched, with a growing sense of confusion.  

"Newton, what--"

Newt winked at him and leaned over and across the desk, angling dangerously close to Hermann's computer monitor.  

"Come on, dude.  Are you sure you don’t wanna taste my--" He took another slow spoonful of yogurt and licked his lips languidly, waving the spoon. "--sex yogurt?"

Suddenly it all made sense.  As much as this particular situation _could_ make sense, given Newton's… unusual methods.  He couldn’t help but wonder if sleep deprivation was starting to take it’s toll on one or both of them.

Hermann saved his work, closed the program, and took off his glasses.  "Dr. Geiszler," he said, carefully attempting to keep his tone as neutral as possible, "are you trying to seduce me?"

"I might be," Newt said in a low voice, wiggling his eyebrows.  At some point during his spoon or tongue movements he had gotten a bit of yogurt on his nose.  "It depends.  Is it working?"

Hermann discreetly covered his mouth, but it still wasn't enough to mask his laughter.

Newton frowned.  "Hey!  I'm trying to be sexy!"

"With-- yogurt," Hermann replied.

"Yeah!  No!  I mean--  The food choice was kinda secondary to the sticking things in my mouth sexily part."

Hermann covered his face in his hands, though at this point there was no hiding his laughter.  His shoulders were shaking.

"Okay, now you're just being rude," Newt said, but he himself looked on the verge of giggling.  "I-- Okay, I don't think I've _ever_ seen you laugh this hard.  Which part did it?"

"Sex yogurt," Hermann wheezed.

Newt snorted and started giggling.  Pressing his forehead against the monitor.  "Oh god."

"It was an... admirable attempt.  Now, please get off my desk before you break or knock something over."

Newton sat up and hopped off the desk, face bright red -- whether from the laughter or embarrassment, he couldn't tell.

"Come here.”

Newt knelt beside his chair and Hermann swiped at his nose with a finger.  The yogurt had come dangerously close to splattering across his glasses instead.

Hermann sucked the yogurt off his finger.  Vanilla wasn't his favorite taste in the world, as far as yogurt was concerned, but it wasn't bad.  

"Your sex yogurt is delicious," he managed to say with a straight face, softly kissing one of Newt's heated cheeks.

Newt reached under his glasses to wipe away tears of laughter.  When he was capable of forming sentences again, he said, "Note to self: yogurt isn't sexy.  Try other food?  How would you feel about a sex banana?"

"Please don't.”

**Author's Note:**

> The term "sex yogurt" belongs 100% to [ClassyFangirl](http://archiveofourown.org/users/ClassyFangirl/pseuds/ClassyFangirl).
> 
> It's _possible_ that Newt was just trying to trick Hermann into taking a break by deliberately being a dork. ...It's also entirely possible that Newt just really is that much of a dork. The world may never know.


End file.
